ValABtine's Day
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| Picture of Candy Hearts from Google |
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| My best friend, Ava. |
Her mission of the day was to teach me and Emily her personal workout, which I was not prepared, considering I ate not one, but THREE West Cookies today.
The workout began with the deadly treadmill. If you have read my previous post, you know that the treadmill and I don't always see eye to eye, however, I wanted to fully indulge myself in Ava's workout, so I agreed to run. She told me to run for 20 minutes, at whatever pace I wanted. She started her run at a speed level of a 7.5, while I was starting up at a solid 5. My goal was to run two miles in the 20-minute time frame, so I slowly increased my speed towards the end of my first mile, I put the speed level up to a 9 and sprinted to the imaginary finish line. I pressed the decrease speed button so hard that I thought I was going to break the machine. The speed level lowered all the way down to a 4; I knew that I would collapse if I continued at such a high pace. I decided that I needed some form of a recovery, so I idiotically decided to increase the incline of the treadmill to its maximum height and began hiking up the treadmill's makeshift hill. After a while, my quads started burning; I was forcing myself to climb up this never-ending hill for half a mile.
I looked to my left and saw Ava happily running beside me. She looked effortless and her form was pristine. I, on the other hand, was panting like a dog outside on a hot summer day. In the last half mile, I wanted to run like how I ran in high school. I turned up the speed level to 9.5 and sprinted as fast as my legs could go. My form was falling apart and the twenty-minute countdown was staring me in the face. And with 2 seconds to go, I hit the 2-mile mark.
The treadmill slowed down and I held on to the handles for dear life. My legs were shaky and I was sooked like I just hopped out of the pool. Ava and Emily looked genuinely terrified for my life, but I wanted to keep going. So Ava said, "Next, we erg"
"Erg?", Emily and I asked
"Yes. Erg."
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| Picture of woman rowing from Google |
Erg is a colloquial name for a rowing machine. Rowing machines simulate rowing on a boat, which enhances your arm and back muscles. I sat down, buckled my feet in and began rowing. At first, I didn't think it was that bad. It was kind of fun if I'm being honest. I would have kept going for longer, however, Ava decided it was time for abs.
Ava's ab workouts are for lack of a better term, intense. It's only 5 and a half minutes long, but it includes:
- 30 seconds: Cherry Pickers (Russian Twists)
- 30 seconds: Penguins (Lay down with knees up, touch your fingers to your heels on either side. Looks like how a penguin walks)
- 30 seconds: Crunches
- 30 seconds: Penguins (again)
- 3.5 minutes: Planks (regular and both sides)
I started off really well, but then we got to the planks. I held the plank for a minute, but I could feel my arms getting tired. I started shaking and losing my balance. Right when I let myself fall to the floor, Ava nonchalantly flipped the plank to her left side, without ever stopping for a break. I tried to mimic her movements and went up for a side plank. However, my leg kept sliding and my hips kept dipping and my body collapsed underneath my weight. Ava strategically moved back to the center and then to her right sided plank. Meanwhile, I was face down, sprawled out on my stomach on the gym floor.
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| Picture of man |
As I write this post, I am in so much pain. Let's throw it back to when I thought the rowing machine wasn't that bad.
WRONG!!!
That uphill incline for a half mile?
NOPE!!!
Who do I think I am? No hill is a half mile long.
Anyway, after we all crawled home from the gym, we ate Valentine's Day themed donuts, which were delicious. Today, my plan is to walk to CVS, head to the candy aisle, and become the ultimate glutton. I feel zero guilt.
Honestly, the majority of my Monday's leave me feeling like that man lying face down on the gym floor - and sometimes I don't even go for a workout on Monday's! I admire your willingness to try an athlete's workout, especially since their conditioning is usually built up to extreme levels of fitness - good for you!! I know for me, planking is one of my least favorite exercises. I am one of those people whose whole body shakes, making me look like I am either suffering from hypothermia in a 75 degree building or having a slight panic attack as I desperately try to make the one and a half minute mark. I love how humorous your post is, mainly because the humor is very honest and very true for many others who go to the gym.
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