You Can't Squat With Us
Please raise your hand if you have ever felt personally victimized by your workout.
This week, I recruited my girl squad to come to the gym with me and try something new.
Squatting.
It's when you put a giant bar on your back that's stacked with 100-pound weights on each side and bend down, bearing all the weight on your calves.
Because my friends and I have never squatted before, we recruited two gym regulars to assist us in our squatting endeavors; RJ and Jed. Both guys are very distinct characters. RJ is always doing something to make someone else laugh, while Jed has the voice of an animated Disney character. While at Penn State, they have gotten really serious about working out; they go to the gym almost every day. Matter of fact, RJ and Jed's max squat weights are 250 and 205 pounds respectively. So, I figured they were experienced enough to teach beginners like my group of friends and I a thing or two about squatting. I planned a meet- up at the White building at 9:15 p.m. for us to get our squat on.
My friend Peggy and I arrived at the gym first, so we decided to stretch a bit before everyone else got there. As we were doing the basic stretches, we noticed something very strange. Some guy decided that his form of stretching was to do a full-on handstand.
Yes, you read that right. This man looked like a U.S. gymnast. Our mouths dropped to the floor. We thought he was going to hold it for a second and them drop it, but we were wrong. He held a handstand for 5 minutes, no joke. AND THEN TO TOP IT OFF, he flipped forward into a bridge, and then stood right up, cleaned up his mat, and left. I was shook.
Finally, my girls Ava, Emily, and Caitlin joined Peggy and me, and we were ready to commence our lesson. However, none of us realized that we would have to be going to a foreign part of the gym. I call it the abyss. Basically, it is the lower portion of the gym that contains all of the lifting materials, such as free weights, the squat bars, lifting, deadlift stations, and many more. From afar, it looked like it was over-run with brolic guys, who run solely on protein shakes and grilled chicken.
My friends looked mortified, but I was not about to let the wafting smell of testosterone and sweat or a big group of guys intimidate us. So, we channeled our inner "Mean Girls" and walked as confidently as possible towards the abyss. We had to seem like we had been in this part our the gym a million times.
See that girl with her legs sticking up from the trash can? Yeah, that was basically me.
When we got to the squat bar, RJ took the lead and had us gather around him. He put the bar on his back and squatted, pointing out the way he placed his legs, his grip on the bar, and how he was breathing. He made it sound simple enough. However, squatting is not simple... AT ALL!
When I got my chance to pick up the minimum 45-pound bar and put it on my shoulders, I thought I was going to fall backward. It was WAY heavier than I expected. He watched my form as I shakily bent my knees in the best squat position I could manage. He nicely advised me to "pretend like I was sitting in a chair" and commented that I have to go straight up and down, not the weird, twisted form I chose to do instead. Jed told me to get squat lower, but unless he wanted to carry me to UHS, I replied that I was squatting as low as safely possible. I did 3 repetitions of 10 squats, and I honestly didn't think my legs were alive afterward.
Peggy went to the bar right after me and she was really getting the hang of it. So much so, she decided to take her squat all the way down. And when I say all the way down, I mean she was basically touching her butt to the floor. I praised her, saying. " WOW! PEGGY YOU GOT SO LOW!!!!" And then she told me that she couldn't get back up. The bar was so heavy on her back, that she couldn't stand up. We rushed to help her to her feet, and she ended her squat lesson immediately.
After each of us got our reps in, we wandered around the gym, working out different body parts, Caitlin and I chose to use the familiar leg machines, while Emily decided she wanted to "pump" her arms. Ava went for a run, and Peggy did everything in between.
At the end of our lovely girls' workout, we realized we could not forget to do core. Ava led the way, inspiring me with her abdomen strength. I decided to really push myself and hold a 2.5-minute plank. I blasted my music, ready to go, but Spotify decided that it wanted to play ads the entire time I was planking. So, instead of hearing "Bodak Yellow" by Cardi B., I listened to corny ads about an irrelevant movie coming out soon and a new brand of laundry detergent.
On the bright side, I was able to hold the plank for 2.5 minutes, which is a hella big deal for me!!!! I am so happy that I got to learn a new gym skill with my favorite people and I cannot wait to workout with them again.
This week, I recruited my girl squad to come to the gym with me and try something new.
Squatting.
It's when you put a giant bar on your back that's stacked with 100-pound weights on each side and bend down, bearing all the weight on your calves.
 |
| Picture of Man Squatting from Google |
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| RJ and Jed: The Squat Masters |
My friend Peggy and I arrived at the gym first, so we decided to stretch a bit before everyone else got there. As we were doing the basic stretches, we noticed something very strange. Some guy decided that his form of stretching was to do a full-on handstand.
Yes, you read that right. This man looked like a U.S. gymnast. Our mouths dropped to the floor. We thought he was going to hold it for a second and them drop it, but we were wrong. He held a handstand for 5 minutes, no joke. AND THEN TO TOP IT OFF, he flipped forward into a bridge, and then stood right up, cleaned up his mat, and left. I was shook.
Finally, my girls Ava, Emily, and Caitlin joined Peggy and me, and we were ready to commence our lesson. However, none of us realized that we would have to be going to a foreign part of the gym. I call it the abyss. Basically, it is the lower portion of the gym that contains all of the lifting materials, such as free weights, the squat bars, lifting, deadlift stations, and many more. From afar, it looked like it was over-run with brolic guys, who run solely on protein shakes and grilled chicken.
My friends looked mortified, but I was not about to let the wafting smell of testosterone and sweat or a big group of guys intimidate us. So, we channeled our inner "Mean Girls" and walked as confidently as possible towards the abyss. We had to seem like we had been in this part our the gym a million times.
 |
| Picture from the movie "Mean Girls" from Google |
See that girl with her legs sticking up from the trash can? Yeah, that was basically me.
When we got to the squat bar, RJ took the lead and had us gather around him. He put the bar on his back and squatted, pointing out the way he placed his legs, his grip on the bar, and how he was breathing. He made it sound simple enough. However, squatting is not simple... AT ALL!
When I got my chance to pick up the minimum 45-pound bar and put it on my shoulders, I thought I was going to fall backward. It was WAY heavier than I expected. He watched my form as I shakily bent my knees in the best squat position I could manage. He nicely advised me to "pretend like I was sitting in a chair" and commented that I have to go straight up and down, not the weird, twisted form I chose to do instead. Jed told me to get squat lower, but unless he wanted to carry me to UHS, I replied that I was squatting as low as safely possible. I did 3 repetitions of 10 squats, and I honestly didn't think my legs were alive afterward.
 |
| RJ Squatting |
Peggy went to the bar right after me and she was really getting the hang of it. So much so, she decided to take her squat all the way down. And when I say all the way down, I mean she was basically touching her butt to the floor. I praised her, saying. " WOW! PEGGY YOU GOT SO LOW!!!!" And then she told me that she couldn't get back up. The bar was so heavy on her back, that she couldn't stand up. We rushed to help her to her feet, and she ended her squat lesson immediately.
After each of us got our reps in, we wandered around the gym, working out different body parts, Caitlin and I chose to use the familiar leg machines, while Emily decided she wanted to "pump" her arms. Ava went for a run, and Peggy did everything in between.
At the end of our lovely girls' workout, we realized we could not forget to do core. Ava led the way, inspiring me with her abdomen strength. I decided to really push myself and hold a 2.5-minute plank. I blasted my music, ready to go, but Spotify decided that it wanted to play ads the entire time I was planking. So, instead of hearing "Bodak Yellow" by Cardi B., I listened to corny ads about an irrelevant movie coming out soon and a new brand of laundry detergent.
On the bright side, I was able to hold the plank for 2.5 minutes, which is a hella big deal for me!!!! I am so happy that I got to learn a new gym skill with my favorite people and I cannot wait to workout with them again.
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| Post-Worout Selfie!!! |
Natalie, this is actually so funny and relatable. So, I've done a good amount of squatting in my lifetime, and I know how to squat, but I still won't go down the the "abyss." Ever. I'm always intimidated by all the hunky men down there and I don't want to risk looking like a fool. I know that it's dumb because nobody is going to care what I'm doing anyway, but I would be so much more comfortable if I was there by myself. Sometimes, there's even bulky women that intimidate me. The thing is though, I think its great that you're really pushing yourself to go to the gym, defy the stereotypes, and try something new. Keep it up!!
ReplyDeleteOne random question: Which animated Disney voice did your friend have because I am VERY curious. Also Cardi B is an amazing workout jam and I feel with the ads (I have Pandora since I hate paying for music). I would try squatting but I always feel a little uncomfortable being female and wearing leggings when I work out.
ReplyDelete